shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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