i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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