i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Less talking, more tequila
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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