I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
