i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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