i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
