I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
