You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
