she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
