help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
