Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize