I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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