My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize