she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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