i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
