You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
