Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
we made out on top of his cat.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
