We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
