he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize