ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
