I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
