I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
