I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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