yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize