He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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