I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Your penis caused this!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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