Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
