It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize