Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
