I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
