I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
