I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize