yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
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Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
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Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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