You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
