Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
