It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize