He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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