can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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