just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
