you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
