I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
