just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
false alarm, still single
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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