Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
The convent might be a nice break from real life
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
