If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
