The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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