They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
