no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
