I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
