Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
