Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
