so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
