his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
