then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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