I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
