when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
