I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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