But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
