Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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