Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
