In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
