I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
