Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
MIDGETS
????
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
