I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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